New is often times scary.
New is often unknown.
But new can be the start of something beautiful.
Try something new, do something new.
New is often times scary.
New is often unknown.
But new can be the start of something beautiful.
Try something new, do something new.
I cant speak for the other branches, but Im sure its just as hard as the Navy. I know pregnancy and birth and parenthood is rough no matter what your job is, but i feel its especially difficult while in the military. Some, like myself are very lucky to not deploy after we have our kids while others deploy 12 months after.
So, whats it like being a mom in the Navy?
Lets start off with the beginning- you dont pick your OBGYN, they are picked for you. You can request, and ask for a new one but chances are you wont get what you want. You dont pick the hospital- that is determined by the navy as well. Im sure we have had sailors do home births or water births but its unlikely, and you probably have to have permission. If you have a normal pregnancy you will most likely see a midwife, if you are like me and have very crappy , high risk pregnancies then you are stuck seeing an OB for every appointment.
You dont get much say. I didn’t want the flu shot while pregnant (personal choice) and I was forced into getting it. I knew with my second baby I wanted my tubes tied, but I had to have my husband consent.
Yes, we do get rather nice maternity leave. When I had my first son it was basically 16-18 weeks depending on the command. It was great especially since I had had a c-section. When I had my second son, it had been changed to 12 weeks. Which yes, is great but it sucked not being home the same amount of time. But that is the military- changes in a blink of the eye. 84 days is given to you by the hospital for recovery time. The rest of the time is not a guarantee because it comes from your command. It can be denied and given to you to take any time before your child is one. Nothing in the military is a guarantee, ever.
You are shore duty for 12months after child birth for bonding time, after those 12 months many return to sea duty…
I was blessed that my kids came when they did. Everything lined up for me to not return to sea duty. Still its rough. You child is sick or the daycare is closed, you better figure it out. Most of the time the commands and chain of command don’t care. You belong to the military not yourself or family. The job comes first.
Over the next few days I will be posting stories from Military and Veteran Mothers.
This is something close to my heart, and i hope you enjoy learning our struggles or more about how it worked in the service.
I was 14.
I was 14 when I walked in and found my father dead in his bed.
I was 14 when my world changed forever.
I was 14 when I gave up God. I was 14 when I realized I had basically no one in my corner anymore.
I was a child. I not only lost my dad, my only parent. But I was a child and found my dad dead.
You see lots of people lose their parents, even when they are still a child. Some handle it well other do not.
The one thing that is important here– YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDED HOW A TRAUMA IMPACTS SOMEONE ELSE. YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDE WHEN A PERSON SHOULD MOVE ON OR GET OVER THAT LOSS BECAUSE OTHERS DEAL WITH IT TOO.
They will handle it when the time comes. I am now 25 and just in the last year began to process it all. That is eleven years for me.
Let that sink in.
First off- Marriage itself is hard. You take two people and mash them together, flaws and all.
Being in a relationship or marriage with someone with any type of Mental health issue changes the ball game some. Mood swings, depression, anxiety… and all the things that come with each different issue.
For myself, I get anxiety when my husband travels. Its gotten to the point of peeling my nails til they bleed. I wouldn’t even notice until the blood shows. I hate to leave the house while he is gone, it wrecks my nerves. I’m not sure where it comes from but I simply blame Anxiety. My lovely depression likes to come at the worst times. It places strain on our marriage, well it did for a long time.
How can someone be happy one second and completely depressed the next? Battles of the smallest things happened. It was rough. It was not my fault. Its not your fault. Mental health is a beast, and it shows its face at any time it wishes too. Learning to be married while dealing with mental health issues is a battle, but once you start to figure it out, life gets easier.
Not everyone can handle it. No day is ever the same, as no depression is the same. Its tough and not everyone is cut out for this type of life. Don’t expect support from everyone, its a beautiful thing when the love of your life does support you though.
So, what are my tips for all this? Honeslty its simple yet not…
*Take time to talk. Communicate. When you feel like you’re falling, tell you significant other. Let them know what you need. It may be a hug or some space. I know I need both when I’m depressed. It can be hard to break down your walls, but in the end it is so worth it.
*Work with each other. Both of you may need support while navigating all this. Especially if it is newer territory. Mental Health can be a slippery slope, don’t let it control you or the marriage. However, couples therapy may be of benefit. Writing to each other may help if talking face to face is difficult.
*Don’t forget self acceptance. Accept and love yourself, so your loved one can too. In some ways, everyone deals with something. It’s just some of us deal with it differently.
*When you are having a good time, show it, express it. Don’t forget to appreciate your significant other. They may be struggling too.
Now for those that are not dealing with mental health, but with some one that is-
*Communicate. Ask how you can help.
*Show you are there, leave love notes. Tell them you are there for them.
*Accept that you made need to give more space. It can be rough, but some days may be harder than others.
*Seek therapy if you think it could help you understand your loved one. Or even if you think couples therapy could help you both work through the harder times.
I hope this helps someone out there. By no means am I perfect nor is my marriage. But I can say these things have helped my husband and I during my journey.
Hey guys! Today i wanted to talk about my journey with antidepressants and my new pill.
I started off with low dose Zoloft. At first it seemed to be working. I was sleeping better, seemed to me that my mood had started to shift towards normal and happier. I upped the dose- per doctors orders- and I noticed I started to feel drugged. I was no longer happy. I couldn’t make it through the day with out a nap. I was not cooking or cleaning. I wasn’t being a very good mom. I was just surviving my days. I stopped cold turkey. I don’t recommend that for everyone as it can cause suicidal thoughts and more. But i made the choice to stop taking my Zoloft. Immediately I felt depressed but better, as I was no longer feeling drugged.
I finally got into see a new psychiatrist who after talking then wanted to start me back on a low dose of Zoloft. I did it and felt horrible. I went back… this time with the mindset that I need something different. I didnt know what I needed but I knew I wanted to have energy and be a human again.
After talking he decided to have me start an anti -psychotic, Latuda. Latuda is a mood stabilizer used with bipolar disorders, schizophrenia and anything else on the bipolar spectrum.
I am one month in on taking Latuda, and honestly- these have been amazing for me.
I feel normal again. I have energy and wake up before 7am everyday. I don’t just survive my days, I’m living. I’m cleaning, cooking and being a better momma to my boys these days.
Zoloft may work for some people, but they didn’t for me. I am so thankful for my new pills. My life is not perfect, but its so much better now.
I’m not saying latuda is right for everyone- no one size fits all here with mental health… I am saying, talk to your doctor if a pill isn’t working. You may need something else. You may need a new dosage..
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Get a new doctor if need be. Don’t suffer, its not worth it.
Why is there a stigma with therapy? Its such a great tool for mental health. Whether you need it for past traumas or just a few sessions to let out stress. Some times people go to just have an outside view on life.
I’ve been going weekly for about a year now, and let me tell you- I love it. That one hour is exactly what I need every week to regain control thoughts and check in on myself.
We talk about the past, the future and present. My goals, what is going on currently and even about random things that I feel like talking about.
I wish there wasn’t a stigma. More people should feel good about going to therapy and now ashamed. There’s no harm in talking to someone. Having that one on one time can do more good than a conversation with a friend or family member. Having that outside point of view can help you to see your situation from a new side. It can give you that check of assurance you may feel that is needed in a situation and your choices.
I love therapy, but of course it also comes down to finding the right doctor for you. if you don’t click with the first person you speak with, don’t give up. Find a new one. I promise its worth it.
How do you feel about therapy? Do you think it could be helpful in you time of life?
Do you have some love story or maybe a chance meeting changed the rest of your life story?
I have a both kinda….
You see I was 19, and just got stationed in Japan. I was newly out of a shitty relationship.. okay, I went to japan to get out of it.
One night I was out with a few friends and in walks my husband. He comes up to me and starts talking, me having zero intrest kind of blew it off. His friends joined in and started asking what part of the ship I’d be working in, soon to find out… we would all be working together.
Three days later i met my husband out for drinks and the rest is history. You could almost say it was love at first sight… it was love in a bar after knowing each other for 4 days. We’ve had our “breakups” where we said we were no longer together but still spent everyday together… almost 6 years later and 2 kiddos together and here we are.
Still my valentine. No marriage is perfect, but when you find your person, then you overcome it all.
How did you meet your spouse? Let me know in the comments!
Boy, when you find out you’re pregnant a million emotions go through your head. Maybe fear, happiness and joy or excitement. So many of us know our life is about to change. We know we are about to have a tiny human to care for and our entire world will change.
We also know the typical bodily changes- belly grows, maybe boobs do to. But what so many people overlook is the mental health portion. During pregnancy, between hormones and emotional changes you have body changes and life changes all at once. It’s not always easy to see and accept every day. Hell, some women struggle with not having the typical belly bumps. POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION can began during pregnancy. It can start to take effect before you ever give birth.
I know for me personally, I had so much anxiety before I had my first son. And yes, seperation anxiety is a real thing.
Did you know that 1 out of 7 woman suffer from postpartum depression? Did you know 70% to 80% of woman will experience some form of baby blues. When we include woman who have miscarried or have experienced a still birth, around 900,000 woman suffer from postpartum depression annually. If you already suffer from anxiety or depression then you are 10-50% higher in risk of suffering from postpartum depression.
As a womens society page I want to help educate. This is something that find is so over due on. Women are going into pregnancy and not knowing what PPA AND PPD are.
Mental health- is not just teens being dramatic or moms being exhausted. It is a real problem. It is alive and yet sucking the life from so many. I will be posting a few blogs about this soon.
We are so close to launching our first products!
Everything will be available for purchase separately or you can purchase a subscription box to include surprise goodies as well!
Still working on some last minute items to add but I am so close by the end of next week everything should be available and include product photos.
Thanks for sticking with me!
Well Hello and Welcome!!
I am beyond excited to have you here. I hope you find something for you here on this woman’s wellness site.
There’s a blog for info, conversations and just random topics. An optional subscription box called the Goddess Box and of course just what I hope to be some helpful and useful Mental Health information and tips.
I ran a blog called Beyond A Mothers Mind, and now I’m working on building this site up while taking the other down. I don’t know all but I do know we all need a support system and a strong bond during tougher times and I hope you find that here.
So, who am I? Well, My name is Alex. Im a 25 yr old mama to two toddler boys. Wife to a busy man and Dual military turned both Veterans! We were both Navy and met while stationed in Japan on the good ole CVN 73, USS George Washington. Now, I’m a stay at home mom with my kiddos and pursuing school soon while running this site is life.
Between mental health and some medical issues I hope I can deliver a good bit of info to help others out there.
Glad to have you!
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