2020 Mental Health

May is half way over already! Time has been flying by this year. How are you holding up? Is this time at home giving you a struggle with mental health? Are you more stressed, or maybe more tired…

Its okay. This isnt a normal life right now. It can be challenging and hard. If you have kids you might be battling a few issues at once. Maybe you dont have kids but are struggling because of a loss of a job.

No matter what is going on, please know there are resources, there are people to help!

Mental disorders; there’s more than just anxiety and depression. OCD is super common, but it can be an issue! Phobias, ugh I have a few. They can make certain tasks harder than need be. Bipolar disorder often times goes misdiagnosed…eating disorders… they may be triggered by stress.

What ever the problem is, know that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to enjoy life. If you are struggling, reach out to me and i can help find the right people to talk to.

You are not alone.

You are loved and cared about.

Maternal Mental Health

Today is all about mothers mental health.

Today can be the reminder everyone needs to wake up and know that a mothers job is NOT easy.

Today is a good day to start taking care of your mental health.

Postpartum depression and anxiety are real. The are not normal, but they are common. Reach out for some help.

You do NOT have to live being sad or angry or resentful.

What Would You Ask?

If you have a loved one that has passed away what would you ask them? Who would you talk to again?

For myself its easy to answer- it will always be my dad. I wish I could have him back even if just for an hour.

I’d ask if I’ve made him proud. If he is happy with me for the choices I’ve made.

I’d ask that he “sing” Gold Digger again because that’s always in my mind. I’d ask if he think my oldest son looks like him, because he does. I’d ask what he favorite memory of us would be, and what he felt like his greatest accomplishment was.

I’d ask if he felt pain because that’s my worry- that he felt pain when he died. I’d hear him call me “bug” one last time and say I love you. These are my questions , what would you ask? Family history questions? Personal?

To You…

To You,

who are struggling with the world of today…

the mother who is losing her mind silently in the bathroom …

crying because the anxiety just wont stop…

the father carrying all the stress on your shoulders…

the single parent struggling to make ends meet…

the students who wont have a graduation…

the babies being brought earth side during this disaster…

I promise it will get better and be okay.

You are doing amazing and the best you can do.

The anxiety is not a shameful, its a fair and justified act right now.

You will be okay, don’t lose hope and don’t give up.

Always feel free to email me , just hit that contact in the menu.

Mental Health & Marriage

First off- Marriage itself is hard. You take two people and mash them together, flaws and all.

Being in a relationship or marriage with someone with any type of Mental health issue changes the ball game some. Mood swings, depression, anxiety… and all the things that come with each different issue.

For myself, I get anxiety when my husband travels. Its gotten to the point of peeling my nails til they bleed. I wouldn’t even notice until the blood shows. I hate to leave the house while he is gone, it wrecks my nerves. I’m not sure where it comes from but I simply blame Anxiety. My lovely depression likes to come at the worst times. It places strain on our marriage, well it did for a long time.

How can someone be happy one second and completely depressed the next? Battles of the smallest things happened. It was rough. It was not my fault. Its not your fault. Mental health is a beast, and it shows its face at any time it wishes too. Learning to be married while dealing with mental health issues is a battle, but once you start to figure it out, life gets easier.

Not everyone can handle it. No day is ever the same, as no depression is the same. Its tough and not everyone is cut out for this type of life. Don’t expect support from everyone, its a beautiful thing when the love of your life does support you though.

So, what are my tips for all this? Honeslty its simple yet not…

*Take time to talk. Communicate. When you feel like you’re falling, tell you significant other. Let them know what you need. It may be a hug or some space. I know I need both when I’m depressed. It can be hard to break down your walls, but in the end it is so worth it.

*Work with each other. Both of you may need support while navigating all this. Especially if it is newer territory. Mental Health can be a slippery slope, don’t let it control you or the marriage. However, couples therapy may be of benefit. Writing to each other may help if talking face to face is difficult.

*Don’t forget self acceptance. Accept and love yourself, so your loved one can too. In some ways, everyone deals with something. It’s just some of us deal with it differently.

*When you are having a good time, show it, express it. Don’t forget to appreciate your significant other. They may be struggling too.

Now for those that are not dealing with mental health, but with some one that is-

*Communicate. Ask how you can help.

*Show you are there, leave love notes. Tell them you are there for them.

*Accept that you made need to give more space. It can be rough, but some days may be harder than others.

*Seek therapy if you think it could help you understand your loved one. Or even if you think couples therapy could help you both work through the harder times.

I hope this helps someone out there. By no means am I perfect nor is my marriage. But I can say these things have helped my husband and I during my journey.

How I met my Spouse

Do you have some love story or maybe a chance meeting changed the rest of your life story?

I have a both kinda….

You see I was 19, and just got stationed in Japan. I was newly out of a shitty relationship.. okay, I went to japan to get out of it.

One night I was out with a few friends and in walks my husband. He comes up to me and starts talking, me having zero intrest kind of blew it off. His friends joined in and started asking what part of the ship I’d be working in, soon to find out… we would all be working together.

Three days later i met my husband out for drinks and the rest is history. You could almost say it was love at first sight… it was love in a bar after knowing each other for 4 days. We’ve had our “breakups” where we said we were no longer together but still spent everyday together… almost 6 years later and 2 kiddos together and here we are.

Still my valentine. No marriage is perfect, but when you find your person, then you overcome it all.

How did you meet your spouse? Let me know in the comments!

My love❤