If you have a loved one that has passed away what would you ask them? Who would you talk to again?
For myself its easy to answer- it will always be my dad. I wish I could have him back even if just for an hour.
I’d ask if I’ve made him proud. If he is happy with me for the choices I’ve made.
I’d ask that he “sing” Gold Digger again because that’s always in my mind. I’d ask if he think my oldest son looks like him, because he does. I’d ask what he favorite memory of us would be, and what he felt like his greatest accomplishment was.
I’d ask if he felt pain because that’s my worry- that he felt pain when he died. I’d hear him call me “bug” one last time and say I love you. These are my questions , what would you ask? Family history questions? Personal?
I was 14 when I walked in and found my father dead in his bed.
I was 14 when my world changed forever.
I was 14 when I gave up God. I was 14 when I realized I had basically no one in my corner anymore.
I was a child. I not only lost my dad, my only parent. But I was a child and found my dad dead.
You see lots of people lose their parents, even when they are still a child. Some handle it well other do not.
The one thing that is important here– YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDED HOW A TRAUMA IMPACTS SOMEONE ELSE. YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDE WHEN A PERSON SHOULD MOVE ON OR GET OVER THAT LOSS BECAUSE OTHERS DEAL WITH IT TOO.
They will handle it when the time comes. I am now 25 and just in the last year began to process it all. That is eleven years for me.