12 Years.

My father, at lake erie

His happy places were fishing, watching NFL amd NASCAR.

He enjoyed a lot towards the end of his life, he worked hard and deserved it.

He had a lot of struggles in his 41 years on this earth.

I cant say he was the best man, person or father there was… But I sure can say he was perfect for me.

I was raised to be strong and independent. I was raise to know right from wrong. I was raised by a single father…

I didn’t know we were ever poor until I was older, but I had every thing I needed.

I was loved.

My dad was taken from my life was to soon. I was 14. In the past 12years he has missed my graduting with honors, serving 5years in the Navy. He missed the births of his grandsons and my marriage…

So many days I wish I could simply call him, or drive to his house…

I miss him.

Heres to 12 years… Amd more to come… Waiting til my kids are old enough to understand so I can tell them stories about him.

2020 World Mental Health Day

World Mental Health Day is celebrated every year on October 10th.

It was established October 10, 1992 by Richard Hunter. Hunter was the Deputy Secretary General of the World Federation for Mental Health.

The top 5 warning signs:

Long term sadness or irritability

Extreme high and low mood swings

Excessive fear, worry or anxiety

Social withdraw

Dramatic change in sleeping and lr eating habits

October 8th is also National Depression Screening Day. I highly suggest reaching out if you feel you are having some trouble. Its nothing to ever be ashamed about. You have to take care of you!

You can speak with your primary care provider or an obgyn. Seeking therapy, or really any type of help for your mental health is a step in the right direction!

Intro To Homeschool PreK

Hey! Today I want to quickly share what I have been doing with my almost 5year old for homeschool.

We are starting with 30mins or less 3 days a week. A letter of the alphabet a day. keeping it simple has been stress-free for me and him!

I will share the website and books I’m using in another post for resources.

For the first day, we did a little question sheet and we will redo it at the end of the year to see what’s changed.

Drawing, painting, dry erase boards, puzzles and flash cards are great ways to learn while having fun!

2020 Mental Health

May is half way over already! Time has been flying by this year. How are you holding up? Is this time at home giving you a struggle with mental health? Are you more stressed, or maybe more tired…

Its okay. This isnt a normal life right now. It can be challenging and hard. If you have kids you might be battling a few issues at once. Maybe you dont have kids but are struggling because of a loss of a job.

No matter what is going on, please know there are resources, there are people to help!

Mental disorders; there’s more than just anxiety and depression. OCD is super common, but it can be an issue! Phobias, ugh I have a few. They can make certain tasks harder than need be. Bipolar disorder often times goes misdiagnosed…eating disorders… they may be triggered by stress.

What ever the problem is, know that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to enjoy life. If you are struggling, reach out to me and i can help find the right people to talk to.

You are not alone.

You are loved and cared about.

Maternal Mental Health

Today is all about mothers mental health.

Today can be the reminder everyone needs to wake up and know that a mothers job is NOT easy.

Today is a good day to start taking care of your mental health.

Postpartum depression and anxiety are real. The are not normal, but they are common. Reach out for some help.

You do NOT have to live being sad or angry or resentful.

At Home Working Out

For almost 30 days now, I have been working out. No beach body, no paid anything just free apps and youtube and some past knowledge.

I do take a Pre-Workout and CLAs.

Do your homework. If looking for supplements or something to assist you, read all the info you can get.

This is my favorite and its yummy!

I utilized GNC but theres planty of websites to order from as well.

When it comes to workouts you need to enjoy them or you wont want to continue. Look around youtube and the appstore to see what looks fun for you. Try it out. Youtube is a great place to try out zumba inspired workout, yoga and even HIIT workouts.

Start off with 15mins of movement and gradually increase. 30mins is a great time for quick workouts at home, during naps or play time even.

Marriage

I think marriage for most people looks the same. I’d say the majority of us deal with similar issues. Some more grave, and some more lighthearted…

Lets take a look at finances- the end all for some people. AI think its important to talk about money. I know we do every two weeks, and whenever else its needed. We make our paycheck budget, pay bills together etc. Keep communication open is key. Finances become an issue when lies are told or deceit is there. So talk, communicate and budget together.

Space! Every single person needs space and time alone. It is hard for some of us to get that but it is so important… especially with this at home time we are all experiencing. For me the moment my kids are napping I am doing my work alone in quiet. Or watching a movie or hell even a mid day bath/shower. Space is crucial for mental health and health in general.

Accepting that you can not and should not need to or have to change the other person. They are who they are, that does not reflect you. Sometimes people change for the better and sometimes for the worse.

Learn to express yourself. Meaning, communicate. It is KEY to a healthy marriage. No matter how you may be feeling, it is crucial you communicate that. It may be hard, sometimes it may help to type it out or write it down. I like to start tough conversations on paper or in text form until I’m able to verbally speak it and make sense.

That’s my advice for now. What is your opinion? Agree or disagree with what I’ve said?

Stay Home Mom Life

Hey Guys, it’s been awhile. A few quick notes, site has been revamped some. A sale is going on currently until this COVID-19 thing is over and I have a few new products to launch hopefully in the coming weeks. All that said, let’s jump into today’s topic; the infamous stay at mom life.

First off, I just want to say no matter what, Mom life is rough. You are shamed for every damn choice you make or don’t make. Working mom life is hard too, I’ve done it but today I want to focus on staying home life.

Ive been a mom for 4 years. Worked the first 2 years of that and now, I stay at home.

I learned a few tips I want to share. Hopefully it will ease some stress and assist a new mom or new to staying home momma.

First off- Schedules. Now, honestly I’m not all gung-ho but I’ve found that a semi structure works best for my home. Some houses may need a structure much more rigid. Which is totally fine! By schedule I mean,

-wake up and bed times are the same 7 days a week.

-3 meeals a day with snack times roughly the same.

-nap time the same 7 dyas a week and for my oldest is quiet time in his room.

-Im working to Incorporate activity times, but thats a tough one LOL.

-Take time for yourself. Early in the morning or later at night.

-ALWAYS HAVE ACTIVITIES ON HAND. The dollar tree- dollar stores are great for this. Even the Target dollar spot too.

Self care is vastly important to anyone and everyone. It can help “fill up your cup”, give you a fresh restart, calm you down, and help with being touched out.

Simple things like waking up earlier than your kids to have coffee alone to taking a bath late at night to a quick face mask… it all counts. If you are the lucky ones that have sitters available- DO NOT FEEL GUILTY over leaving for a few hours to refresh yourself. You deserve it.

How do you survive the day to day life at home? Let me know in the comments!

Stress Management Tips

1. Do you notice you get stressed before during or after a certain activity or responsibilities or even around certain people? Pay attention to you feelings, they are insight for a reason.

2. Identify what is causing the stress. Maybe loading up the housework all in one day is too much. Maybe certain people cause you stress. Come up with a gameplan. Maybe make a schedule for cleaning your home or taking care of daily responsibilities. Cut out people,places and activities that make induce stress or even anxiety.

3. Be mindful. Mindfulness can be eating right, making the choice to have a good day, to your reactions when shit hits the fan. Mindful of yourself, surroundings and actions.

4. Physical activity has been shown to lower stress. It may not be for all, but I suggest taking a walk and see how that helps you.

5. Five deep slow breathes. Inhale slow, exhale slow. Lower your heart rate, gives you a moment to calm down and step back from the situation.

Visit our shop to pick up self care goodies! Just click “shop goddess” in the menu.

Toxic Mother- Figurative Loss

I say figurative because to be honest, I never had a mother in the first place. I have a biological mother.

My parents split up when i was 2.5 years old. So I don’t remember the happy times, although I was told they were happy at some point. From that age until I was about 7 I saw my mother maybe 10 times, and that is being generous with that number.

There were lots of calls and no shows form her. I can remember being actually mad at her. Never hurt, but mad. At such a young age I think I just understood the type of person she was.

When I got older, and my dad passed away I remember the phone call where Rhonda told her he had died. You would think, a mother would give a shit about her kid… at least ask how she is right? But nope- not her. Instead it was about how sad she was and how she loved him still and oh my god… blahhh blahhh blah. Such bull shit. Fake emotions, because when you love someone you don’t beat them up.

I was 10 and I remember being overly pissed off at her, and saying I disown her as my mother, that she simply was the one that gave birth to me nothing more. At age 14, I lost my dad and that feeling was renewed. I had no parents.

This really is not a rant post, more of the toxic mother/ parent, and why its not worth your time caring.

At age 19, I reached out to her after finding my siblings. I thought maybe she grew up since I did.. I was wrong. Everything was always about her. Come to find out, she never seemed to consider me her kid anyway. I tried to keep it brief and simple with her. Which I did. Then I got pregnant, I knew I didnt want to tell her because in ,y ,in my mind she had no right to know she had a grand child coming.

I stopped talking to her one night after she told me she loved me. It didn’t sit well with me. Like clearly she doesn’t know what love is. What is shitty, is my older sister has a relationship with her even after all the bullshit Our bio mother has done to her. I wish everyone saw Leslie for what she is instead of feeling sorry for her.

No mother just walks out of a courtroom and gives up her kids without a fight. She chose not to raise us or care. I finally came to terms with that in my twenties. Not long ago, she told me goodbye because she couldn’t accept the abuse and pain any longer. My immediate reaction was like what pain and abuse? Im not the one who abandoned you…

Needless to say- I get what its like to have that toxic parent. I’m here to say you owe them NOTHING. Not a damn thing. You didn’t control the situations as a child. they did. Never let them guilt you into feeling bad for what you say to them. Say your peace, tell them how they have made you feel and move on.

I promise, you don’t deserve to feel like shit because of a shitty parent who wasn’t there. I wasted my time trying to make a relationship out of air. Don’t do that to yourself.

Having a toxic parent can make you feel bad. Like everything is your fault, but really… its not you- its them. They are the problem. They are the shitty person, the shit parent. Please don’t waste that time and energy on them.

Get out, get away and live your life. I was so blessed to not be raised by her. I know others are not that lucky. You may not be able to reverse the damage but you can move past it. You can be better than them.

I’m so glad my children don’t know her or know the pain of having someone in amd out of their lives.

I feel bad my sister has let that happen, but if they all get along then who am I to say anything right?

Toxic parents turn into simply toxic people. You owe nothing to them, and need them not.

You deserve to be happy. Leave the toxic shit behind.