Marriage

I think marriage for most people looks the same. I’d say the majority of us deal with similar issues. Some more grave, and some more lighthearted…

Lets take a look at finances- the end all for some people. AI think its important to talk about money. I know we do every two weeks, and whenever else its needed. We make our paycheck budget, pay bills together etc. Keep communication open is key. Finances become an issue when lies are told or deceit is there. So talk, communicate and budget together.

Space! Every single person needs space and time alone. It is hard for some of us to get that but it is so important… especially with this at home time we are all experiencing. For me the moment my kids are napping I am doing my work alone in quiet. Or watching a movie or hell even a mid day bath/shower. Space is crucial for mental health and health in general.

Accepting that you can not and should not need to or have to change the other person. They are who they are, that does not reflect you. Sometimes people change for the better and sometimes for the worse.

Learn to express yourself. Meaning, communicate. It is KEY to a healthy marriage. No matter how you may be feeling, it is crucial you communicate that. It may be hard, sometimes it may help to type it out or write it down. I like to start tough conversations on paper or in text form until I’m able to verbally speak it and make sense.

That’s my advice for now. What is your opinion? Agree or disagree with what I’ve said?

Stay Home Mom Life

Hey Guys, it’s been awhile. A few quick notes, site has been revamped some. A sale is going on currently until this COVID-19 thing is over and I have a few new products to launch hopefully in the coming weeks. All that said, let’s jump into today’s topic; the infamous stay at mom life.

First off, I just want to say no matter what, Mom life is rough. You are shamed for every damn choice you make or don’t make. Working mom life is hard too, I’ve done it but today I want to focus on staying home life.

Ive been a mom for 4 years. Worked the first 2 years of that and now, I stay at home.

I learned a few tips I want to share. Hopefully it will ease some stress and assist a new mom or new to staying home momma.

First off- Schedules. Now, honestly I’m not all gung-ho but I’ve found that a semi structure works best for my home. Some houses may need a structure much more rigid. Which is totally fine! By schedule I mean,

-wake up and bed times are the same 7 days a week.

-3 meeals a day with snack times roughly the same.

-nap time the same 7 dyas a week and for my oldest is quiet time in his room.

-Im working to Incorporate activity times, but thats a tough one LOL.

-Take time for yourself. Early in the morning or later at night.

-ALWAYS HAVE ACTIVITIES ON HAND. The dollar tree- dollar stores are great for this. Even the Target dollar spot too.

Self care is vastly important to anyone and everyone. It can help “fill up your cup”, give you a fresh restart, calm you down, and help with being touched out.

Simple things like waking up earlier than your kids to have coffee alone to taking a bath late at night to a quick face mask… it all counts. If you are the lucky ones that have sitters available- DO NOT FEEL GUILTY over leaving for a few hours to refresh yourself. You deserve it.

How do you survive the day to day life at home? Let me know in the comments!

Stress Management Tips

1. Do you notice you get stressed before during or after a certain activity or responsibilities or even around certain people? Pay attention to you feelings, they are insight for a reason.

2. Identify what is causing the stress. Maybe loading up the housework all in one day is too much. Maybe certain people cause you stress. Come up with a gameplan. Maybe make a schedule for cleaning your home or taking care of daily responsibilities. Cut out people,places and activities that make induce stress or even anxiety.

3. Be mindful. Mindfulness can be eating right, making the choice to have a good day, to your reactions when shit hits the fan. Mindful of yourself, surroundings and actions.

4. Physical activity has been shown to lower stress. It may not be for all, but I suggest taking a walk and see how that helps you.

5. Five deep slow breathes. Inhale slow, exhale slow. Lower your heart rate, gives you a moment to calm down and step back from the situation.

Visit our shop to pick up self care goodies! Just click “shop goddess” in the menu.

aNXiEty

Anxiety: Is literally different for every person. Yes, The “signs and symptoms” may be theoretically the same or follow a pattern for diagnosis but each person is still different.

Google Definition of Anxiety:  “A feeling of apprehension and fear, characterized by physical symptoms such as palpitations, sweating, and feelings of stress. “

Mayo Clinics Web Page : https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/symptoms-causes/syc-20350961

If you are a female, and have had a baby or plan to have one- you may be familiar with Post-Partum Anxiety. It is anxiety, but typically ends up going away.

My anxiety is complex. I have >ticks<. Those ticks have been around for a long time but I have actually just discovered them, and knowingly started paying attention to them. My anxiety stems from childhood issues and experiences I have had in my adult years.

I don’t just become anxious, or hyper vigilant… I become paranoid. My ticks became prevalent, and I can’t stop them. My sleep is affected, My mood, my entire life gets engulfed in these hours to weeks worth of what ever the hell it is.

So, Why write this exactly? Well, I think it’s really important for people to understand that Mental Illness is not the same for everyone. That anxiety is not the same for every person.

Some calming Tips and Tricks:

For me, writing down whatever my brain is saying, even if it doesn’t make sense. Deep breathing helps along with soft chest taps. I know for some people, its simply listening to a certain song, or reading a quote.

For a more severe anxiety episode: go to a quiet space, get some water, cool off… deep breaths and try to clear your mind.

Chamomile tea and lavender teas are great for relaxing and calming yourself.

Practice Mindfulness. You are not being a control freak by having a plan. Especially if you are like me and new places, lots of people, public… can create issues for you.

Try yoga, or meditation: nightly meditation is a great way to get rid of the anxiety from the day and morning meditation is a great way to start your day and be stronger than your anxiety.

I would love to hear from you if you deal with anxiety, Id love to chat and bounce some calming ideas between us. So please Email me or Click on the contact form in the menu!

Im not an expert. I just deal with this basically daily. Now, looking back… I’ve delt with it for almost 10 years. I hope this sheds some light for anyone who isn’t familiar with anxiety.

Therapy Research

I know I have visited this topic in the past but after some time, I really wanted to do an “update” of sorts.

I have been contacted by an awesome researcher and I’d like to share the information with all you. I’d also like to share a quick backstory of myself.

First, for anyone who many not know- I am a mother of 2 toddler boys, roughly 17 months apart. With my first son I don’t believe I had ppd or ppa out side the normal sadness to leave my baby for work. However, when I had my second son… oh boy- depression and anxiety set in and bad. Two years later and almost a year into therapy I’ve realized that although I do have some past issues that contribute to depression… I still deal with that lovely PPD AND PPA.

Did you know that 1 out of 7 woman suffer from postpartum depression? Did you know 70% to 80% of woman will experience some form of baby blues. When we include woman who have miscarried or have experienced a still birth, around 900,000 woman suffer from postpartum depression annually. If you already suffer from anxiety or depression then you are 10-50% higher in risk of suffering from postpartum depression.

I have friends I have seen go from fun loving women to a ball of depression after their child was born. It is more common that most may think.

Joey, has sent me some information I’d like to share.

“The team and I understood that while this kind of help might not be for everyone, it is still an important resource for those out there seeking self-help.

For this reason, we created this guide: https://www.consumersadvocate.org/online-therapy

Within the guide, you can find a comparison of 19 different online therapy apps and our unique experiences with each of them. We compared the apps’ affordability, usability, and looked into the actual certifications of their therapists.”

After looking over the provided link above here’s my thoughts-

This is certainly not for every woman. However, it does highlight lots of helpful info, that even though it may not be for you it may help your best friend. There is no such thing as too many resources. If you do see that you need some extra help, but may not know what to look for… the guide does highlight tips as well. Feel free to let me know what you think as well!

A reminder…

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Do you ever just sit back and think about other peoples life?

I don’t mean like the answer to what is life, I mean more of what is going on beyond you and your own world. Every persons day to day life seems similar and they may be yet everyone is fighting their own battle every second of the day.

Some people deal with mental health issues while you have people battling physical things like cancers or Parkinsons. Someone is mourning the loss of a parent and the person next to them never knew theirs. In the car over there is a person mourning a loss of a baby and someone somewhere mourning the loss of a baby shes is unable to even concieve.

Do you know all this? Yes, I’m sure you do. So, why am I spelling it all out????

Because I think at times we all need that reminder. A reminder that people mourn differently. We all deal with the same situation differently. While I may still have trouble mentally accepting I had a miscarriage, other may have came to terms with theirs. I’m just now mourning my father who I lost 11 years ago. Every single person has a battle in their closet. So be nice. Be patient, because you never know when a death anniversary is. You never know how hard a day or month is for someone.

Don’t be a pin in someones bad day. Be the smile that helped them keep going. Be the “good morning” that helped them smile.

Be a good human, be good to other humans.

It takes strength to be kind; it’s not a weakness.” –Daniel Lubetzky